Wild Caught Versus Farmed

For the majority of my time as a health conscious adult I have had the idea that wild is better than farmed.
This is understandable. It makes sense.
However, I have also recently discovered the major issues with using strictly wild fish, especially certain types such as bluefin tuna.

I thought that by eating wild caught fish I was accomplishing something but what was being accomplished? A decline in the population…

Now i understand that I as one individual consumer of fish am not a huge part of the problem but I’m not the only individual consumer.that is the problem.

Now what i am completely lost about is what should I eat? Wild caught fish that are declining in numbers due to gluttony? Or farmed fish that could potentially help the population of certain species to grow?

Trying to do the right thing can become very confusing at times. At one moment you think you are doing the right thing and then the next something else is better or what you were doing before has become very bad.


Saadia Grace


So I am officially 20 weeks and now know that I am having a little girl.
Her name is Saadia Grace.
She is being named after her aunt who died August 14th 2000 in a car accident.
Unfortunately me and her father are no longer together but that is still her aunt and I think one day when she is older and asks about her father’s side of the family that it would be a nice story to be able to tell her.
It kind of sucks that I don’t know more about his side of the family. I have this huge fear that my daughter will grow up not knowing her father like i did.

He has a 7 year old daughter that he maintains a relationship with but I feel that because he was in her life for 6 years until he became separated that he week always be more consistent with her than with my daughter.

What is a girl to do?

It is taking all that i have in me to keep telling myself that i am an awesome mom and my daughters will have complete freedom to peruse a relationship with their fathers.

I can’t raise them to be hateful based off of my feelings about my choices of men.
I must remain strong!! Lol

In the end I know things will be ok for me and my girls. However, i think everyone knows that feeling you have when you haven’t quite gotten past the rough patch. Anyways that’s just a short update of what has been going on with me.
My daughter’s birthday is coming up so I’m very excited to post something birthday related. I have no idea what we are doing but I have lots of ideas.

Back to Square One

Well since I last posted a lot has happened. I officially moved out of the place I’ve been living for the last two years. It is the last place me and my husband lived together.

It was kind of sad making the move because my daughter turned one, started walking, talking, and turned two there. She hit a lot of milestones while we lived there.

While I was there I also came to the realization that i needed to do something with my life.
I didn’t want to wait until my husband left me to have to pick up the pieces.
I wanted to start putting them together before so there wouldn’t be anything to fall apart when he left.

Now I’m not going to lie and say that by doing this I wasn’t in some way hoping that he was going to see how much I changed and that things were never going to be the same with me. Although It’s my life I was trying to sort out there was still that thought. I wanted him to know that the woman he was letting go was awesome in ways he had never seen.

So I’m in college now, living with my mother for hopefully less than two years so that when my second child is born I won’t struggle in school.

So although I titled this back to square one I’m not really completely back there. I’ve changed a lot in my life and I’m actually happy knowing change isn’t complete yet.

Instead of being heartbroken that I’m single I’m open to whatever direction my life is supposed to go in.

Are You Crazy? You Must Be To Be Doing That!

Not too long ago when my first daughter was born, at the age of 17, I was totally clueless as to what I wanted to do in life and with my child. I loved her but I didn’t know anything about anything and didn’t find the need to educate myself. I did exactly what i thought i was supposed to do which was feed her, diaper her, wash her, love her, and be the best mom that i could be.

I used the cry it out method. I believed in disciplining her a certain way.

To be completely honest, I don’t feel that I accomplished anything with that version of parenting.

At this current point in time I am turning 21 and also in my 5th month of my second pregnancy. (Baby seems to be active today 🙂 )

I’ve done a lot of research about being a more natural and nurturing mom and at first I had only decided to breastfeed this baby. As time passed and as I did more research I feel like I struck gold. That gold would be the idea of a completely different lifestyle.

I decided I want to do extended breastfeeding and cloth diaper this baby. I also, along with my boyfriend, decided not to have the baby circumcised if it’s a boy. (I find out on Valentine’s Day by the way.

I was and am still so excited about this. I then did even more research about the “crunchy” lifestyle. Now let me pause for a second and say that I have always loved growing my own food and I have a love for nature and consider myself spiritual but there is a difference between that and everything I was discovering.

Anyways back to what I was saying before, I then decided I wanted to not just change how I take care of my children but my entire view and lifestyle. I was amazed that this felt so good and fulfilling.

As I posted before I am going through a separation and divorce from my first husband and am trying to progress from that. I must say that I feel as if this life decision is helping me not be such an angry and detached person. I feel as if I won’t be the same person I was after my daughter was born which was not a proud point in my life.

I feel as if this is a turning point in my life though I definitely didn’t expect it to come in this form.

Now all of that being said I decided to tell my family….it didn’t go as I had hoped but much like i had expected.

My mother and my best friend are both nurses so they completely rejected the idea that i didn’t want my son circumcised.

OK so first of all when did cutting part of my son’s penis off become the lesser of two HUGE decisions? It was my understanding that a child has to either live with one or the other and that the parent is always the one who decides. So if one parent makes the lifelong decision of cutting off part of their son’s body why is it wrong that i make an equally important decision of letting his penis stay the way my body created it to be.

I got the it’s medically better for this and that crap. I kind of felt insulted but then quickly realized what their problems were…They were medical professionals who weren’t in my position and experiencing what I was so I didn’t get very upset.

However, I do long for someone to get how i could go from one extreme to another. I’m not sure most people react this way to a divorce and a new life

Is it common to make this kind of turn? Wait that must be what this is…my new life. My new single, college student, mommy of two life. HAHA

My New Life After Divorce

On November 15, 2009 I started on a path that I was truly not ready for. I was 16 so I don’t have a clue what I was expecting really. I thought I was in love. I was one of those young teenage girls who wanted a baby desperately, minus the television exposure. I’m thinking it had something to do with being lonely, maybe because I only had my mother and her attention was divided amongst me and others. My husband left for his first deployment in January of 2010.

Now lets pause for a second. I know that young people do dumb things, I still do. However, I was in no way expecting what i had coming my way. The times and events that came after this were filled with anger and sadness that have now come to shape me into who i want to be for myself and my children, not for another man.

Ever since the day I was married things were obviously not meant to get better. As all active parents know, if a bad relationship leads to beautiful little people it couldn’t have been a mistake. Sure I would have loved to have had a relationship that didn’t involve cheating, lies, and physical abuse but I wouldn’t hesitate to do it all over again.

My daughter was born on April 29, 2011. I must say that it was the best day of my life so far. Everything was perfect. On that day there was not a thought in my mind of anything other than how great my life was. No cheating, no lies, no abuse, just us and our daughter.

At this point I had no clue what kind of physical things had occurred with my husband and other women. I wouldn’t find this out until my husband’s second deployment in July of 2011. Things with us kept going in the same direction until the end of July 2013 when I met my current boyfriend. It was really disappointing to me that I had spent so much time with a man who had no idea how to treat me that I did everything but flat out reject a man who seemed to adore me.

I think that security is the main reason I put up with my husband’s crap. He supported me completely and for a while I never thought of what I could be and do for myself.

I’m happy to say that this is the part of my story that becomes less…depressing.

I received my GED in May of 2013 and started my first year of college in July. My current boyfriend and I are expecting a baby July 12, 2014. At this point in my life I know the difference between the love I thought I had for someone who put a roof over my head and the love I have for someone who I’m not tempted to stay with because of material things. I know what Is worth arguing about and when I should just walk away and chalk it up as a loss. I know that nothing will be achieved by me trying to “get even” simply because I’m hurt.

I know that my life is changing because I’m making it happen for myself.

This is me!

Well first of I would like to say hi…Hi! This is my first time ever writing anything for others to read aside from my Facebook posts, and I must be honest they have not been that great in the past. I think we all know those over dramatic and over emotional posts.

Yep..once upon a time I was that person.

At this point in my life I have been through a lot. I was married just 3 months after my 16th birthday. Like most 16-year-old girls I had some idea what “real life” was going to be like but almost none of what I had imagined happened.

I am now 20(soon to be 21) and separated from my husband. I am the very lucky parent of an awesome soon to be 3-year-old little girl and I am 16 weeks pregnant with my second child. So far I feel like I’m doing all of this pregnancy stuff all over again.

Is it really that common to forget so may things about your first time? Hmm..

Either way I will make the most of this experience and I will be able to share it here.